


The Word is Spelled Desire

by ceresilupin



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Dragon Age Kink Meme, F/M, First Time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-02
Updated: 2015-03-02
Packaged: 2018-03-15 22:26:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3464333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceresilupin/pseuds/ceresilupin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cole and F!Lavellan, first time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Word is Spelled Desire

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for a kmeme prompt [here](http://dragonage-kink.livejournal.com/13275.html?thread=50714843#t50714843). Song title is from Time, by Mikky Ekko, which you can listen to [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTbqAyjyP4k&list=PLJ1ltl4MOa3QlPFikDRNeaTPh5-WB29Ip&index=5).

Ardena thought sliding her hand down the front of her leggings was the hardest thing she’d ever done. No matter how many times Cole kissed the back of her neck, promised he wasn’t like that, he wasn’t staring, he wasn’t judging, just enjoying, ecstatic, excited _, enthused. . . ._

It was all mixed up in her head, the Dalish rules about relationships, the smutty books she’d read, and the human coupling she’d glimpsed and overheard. The women were always sprawled open and wanting, moaning loud and lewd. Always on display. She wasn’t – she wasn’t _like_ that, couldn’t be like that, even if she tried. She didn’t want to be _seen_.

She just wanted to be with him. He was still too afraid to touch himself, said it made him feel out of control, like he would forget himself. She couldn’t say she understood completely, but she knew he was even less familiar with love-making than she was. So she decided that she would go first. And that meant. . . .

She took a deep breath. That meant closing her eyes, schooling herself to focus (the feeling of Cole’s arms around her, his long sinewy warmth against her back), shoving her hand down her pants, and getting to work.

~

The room felt very warm and quiet as she shifted, giving her hand room to work under her leggings. Cole touched her thigh, his hot, wet breath brushing her cheek, and her leg flexed automatically.

She kept her eyes closed. She pushed her fingers through the wild thatch of hair between her legs and found her clit. She was so tense, so distracted and wrapped up in her thoughts, that she barely felt her own touch. Rubbing herself was certainly familiar, but it was made deeply strange by Cole’s presence. She was painfully conscious of everything, her every movement and every noise.

She tried to think of the things that usually worked for her – sometimes just the thought of him and his closeness was enough to make her so excited – but her head felt like a bowl of shocks. She would start to focus, and something would distract her, and her concentration would be lost.

It went completely out the window when Cole moved, rustling as he got his elbow under him. She paused, and then he leaned over to kiss her mouth. Ardena turned to meet him, never mind the strain her neck.

Her hand stopped, fingers clenching. She felt . . . cold, almost. Exposed. She had been fine a few minutes ago. . . .

Cole sighed a little as he broke the kiss, and Ardena grimaced as she opened her eyes. She swallowed back any number of words that would make things worse, and exhaled slowly. “I’m sorry.”

Cole’s arm tightened immediately. _“Don’t_ be sorry,” he ordered, pale brows furrowed, eyes gone intense and stern. “Not to me. I don’t want you to be sorry to _me_.” He rested his forehead on hers with another sigh, stroking her arm absently. “The others aren’t sorry. How do they do it? They made it look so easy. . . .” He trailed off, frowning thoughtfully.

Ardena left her hand where it was, but brought the other one up to stroke his lips. He kissed her fingers, his mouth wet and hot, puppyish and sweet. Eyelashes lowered, Ardena drug her fingers over his cheek, still a bit hollow even after he discovered his love for food, and then ran them over his chin.

The blankets rustled noisily as Cole moved, pushing himself up a bit so she could reach further, her weight half-resting against his chest, half-upon the bed. She stroked his neck – it was strong despite its thinness, hard with muscle and bone. She touched the curve of his Adam’s apple and was reminded all over again of his _maleness._ It was easy to forget sometimes, tramping through the wilderness with Cole and Varric at her back, the human peppering the dwarf with questions.

And then she would look back and remember – that light, perplexed voice belonged to this man, taller than her, shoulders and arms laced with muscle. He gave firm, hard hugs, and had a rough, boyish laugh. He shielded her with his body, and – when it was raining – with his hat.

She smiled at the reminder. She bit her lip briefly, wondered what Cole was reading from her mind, and then stretched to kiss him, taking up the movement of her fingers again.

~

It took a while, to get into it. It wasn’t like bringing herself off alone. Then, she just closed her eyes and focused on whatever narrative was working for her lately. Most of the time, it was something darker and uglier than anything she would confess to aloud, but it was what worked.

With Cole, her attention was constantly divided. When his hands moved on her – like over her ribs, as he mumbled _bubbling and bumpy, like babbling brooks_ – the ticklish pleasure startled her, distracted her from her single-minded pursuit. And then she would dive back in, taking up the movement again, focusing on sensation.

Cole pulled her into a long kiss, breaking briefly to confess, “I like this, I like touching you, your body sings,” like he knew she needed the reassurance – and then kissed her again, long and thorough. When it ended, her breath was different. Shorter, rougher, closer to a pant. She let it sound from her, let him hear, wanted him to know what she was feeling.

His curious hands roved all over her, from her breasts to the border of her pants, stroking the shallow spill of her hips. When they moved up, tickling over her nipples, her breath flowed in; when they moved down, brushing her arm where it disappeared into her leggings, her breath flowed out, jerky and stuttered.

Cole bent his head to kiss behind her ear, his long nose and bangs tickling. Half-smiling, Ardena felt her lips shape . . . something. Some word. Maybe a moan? She should moan, she should let him know that she—

“What you want, when you want,” Cole hummed absently, lifting her hair off her neck and kissing the nape. She felt his delight as she shivered, and they both laughed as he kissed down, his hand bracing her waist. “It’s . . . slippery, now, isn’t it? A good ache, the best ache. Hm. . . .”

Lips still parted, Ardena extended her fingers, swiping over her entrance and getting them wetter. A little thrill thrummed through her, and when they returned to her clit, her breath came even faster. It was _good_ now, very good, building pleasure. Cole kissed her nape again and her arse pushed backwards, settling against his hips, and she heard his teeth click and a little groan catch in his throat.

“Oh,” he said. His mouth hovered over hers, both of them panting now. “Me, too. It feels good for me, too.”

Ardena whimpered a little, and then laughed quietly, gathering more slickness and increasing her pace. “Cole,” she said, voice cracking and swallowed up by the room’s quiet. His body surged against hers at the sound of her voice, and she swore she _felt_ it, the way he wanted her, deep in his bones. She ducked her chin to kiss his hand, which had paused on her shoulder. “ _Ma vhenan.”_

Cole shuddered, exhaling hard against her ear. “Should I – take these off?” he asked breathlessly, meaning her leggings, before she even knew she wanted it. She nodded, gasping, body flexing as a spike of pleasure mounted, cunt tightening—

The leggings ended up bunched around her knees, restraining her movement, but she grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss before he finished pushing them down, so there was nothing to be done, they would stay where they were. Their kiss was a mingling of mouths and air and need. Ardena’s lips parted on things she was thinking but her voice was too tightly wound to say—

Cole was under no such restrictions. “Hot and hard now, that little bit, so much feeling. Small of my back tingling, wanting to be touched. Thighs want to push open. Please, please, Creators, more—“ He paused and nipped her throat. “Arse tightening, cunt tightening, want him in me.” His voice changed slightly, turned wondering. “Ardena, I want to be in you, too.”

“Cole,” Ardena gasped, body blazing with his words, the fretful timber of his voice. His hands tightened on her when she said his name. “Cole, please. Please.”

He groaned again, another tense little noise, and kissed the nape of her neck, nipping a little, chuckling when she laughed breathily. “Tell me what to do,” he pleaded. “It’s all a hot jumble, good hurt and deadly pleasure. I don’t want to do the wrong thing. . . .”

She reached back, grabbing a fistful of his hair, and he thrust his hips against her bottom. The leather of his pants was thick enough that she couldn’t feel if he was hard, but she was sure he was. He confirmed it, a bashful little whisper against her jaw: “I am.”

Ardena did moan then, couldn’t help it, it was loud and broken but it made Cole squeeze her tightly, hands racing over her like they were desperate for action. “Tell me what you need,” he begged, pressing hard, sucking kisses to her shoulders, even stretching to nip at her breasts.

She couldn’t say it. If she was alone, she would curl inward, bypass past her clit with her other hand and sink two fingers into herself. Awkward stretch, couldn’t never quite reach the way she wanted, but—

Cole understood. He used his foot to push her leggings away and lifted her knee, settling her foot behind his legs. Holding her open. Ardena squeezed her eyes closed, rubbing her arse against his hips and her shoulders against his chest, touching him at no point in-between – her back was arched, she was rubbing herself furiously—

He sank two fingers in her, just as she had been imagining doing to herself, but the angle was different (his knuckles rubbed _that spot_ ) and his fingers were longer, slightly thicker (little more stretch, more strain) and she nearly levitated. She definitely cried out and it was completely involuntary, and she clenched around him as he whimpered, mumbling pleas to the Creators that were plucked from her very head—

She came like that, his fingers flexing and moving inside her, his cock (she could feel it now) grinding against her arse, her fingers rubbing her clit, her hips rocking back and forth. It lasted forever, or felt like it did, until she finally tipped her head back and exhaled, swallowing hard, catching her breath.

She ended up melting backwards, easing against him as the pleasure shifted and turned soft, not so sharp and needy. A few more seconds, and she had to take her fingers off her clit, unable to stand the sensitivity. She rubbed the crease of her thigh and reached between her legs, trailing over his hand and feeling the exact spot that his fingers pushed into her.

“Oh,” he murmured as she did, pressing his face to her neck, “oh, oh, oh—“

Cole didn’t stop moving. Her hand had relaxed, no longer gripping his hair as tightly, so she turned it into a stroke. He loved to have his scalp massaged. And sure enough, he shuddered, wet open mouth brushing her throat, forehead mashed against her ear.

“Now you,” she murmured, swallowing again (throat dry after panting, lips parted for so long), her body slowly settling. “Now you tell me what you need. Let me help you, Cole.”

He shook his head frantically, breath hitching as his hips rocked, and then a garbled cry fell from his lips. The cry ended but his orgasm went on, Ardena moaning softly in sympathy, until he whimpered and collapsed, utterly winded.

Ardena breathed a laugh, amazed, and wished she’d been able to see his face. _Next time,_ she thought, still stroking his hair, _next time._

~

Cole drew his fingers from her cunt and threw his arms around her, crushing her to him with enough strength that she was alarmed. He buried his face against her naked shoulder, no more kissing, just – just _hiding_ , and that wasn’t right.

Her sleepy eyes opened, blissful half-smile fading. She could feel his heart racing, even through his shirt and both of their skins. “It’s okay, Cole,” she assured him hurriedly, twisting to try to see him. “What’s wrong? Come now, talk to me.”

“I—“ She felt his lashes tickle her cheek as he blinked rapidly, squeezing her in another hug. She had to wriggle in his arms, no easy task, to see his face. His expression was blank, a hint of terror in his gaze. “I didn’t – I wasn’t – will I become a demon, now?” His voice cracked with distress.

Astonished, Ardena wrapping arms and legs alike around him. “Cole, no,” she said urgently, kissing his downturned mouth. “Never,” she promised him, “never, never.”

“Am I supposed to do this?” he wondered, still breathing rapidly. She was confused; where was this coming from? He had been the one to insist that he knew what he wanted, even when she was reluctant. He had been calm all throughout, even when she was nervous. But _now_ he was panicking? “Nothing else feels like you. Nothing. Not even helping. Have I . . . lost my purpose?”

Ardena gripped his jaw, understanding dawning dimly. “It’s not like it was before,” she soothed him, even as some of her previous anxiety came flooding back. What if she _was_ corrupting him? Of all the people in the world, he was the one that she never wanted to hurt. “You’re human, now, or more human. You don’t have just one purpose. And this – being happy, feeling good – is one of them.”

“I’m . . . not as sure.” But his labored breath was easing, his expression growing calmer. “I was afraid, suddenly,” he explained, troubled gaze locking on hers. “It felt like forgetting, but . . . different. I thought—“ He blinked, frowning, easing into the pillow as he began to relax. “It wasn’t what I expected.”

How much of his panic was because of his unfamiliarity with what he’d just experienced? He’d told her that he’d never brought himself off, that when he got close he wasn’t able to hold still, had to stop and move around until his erection went down. It was something she’d wondered about beforehand, but maybe not quite enough. To come for the first time, with the idea of a body with physical feelings still so new . . . it must have been a very strange experience for him.

As always, with Cole present, her thoughts were not her own. “Not strange,” he corrected. He was plainly growing tired, Ardena mused, leaning forward to scrape his hair off his forehead, to see what she could of his expression. The books had been right about that, at least – men were always supposed to be sleepy, afterwards. “Wonderful. Only . . . a _little_ strange.”

That made her laugh quietly, and him too, their breath mingling. When she rested her hand on his chest, his heart was no longer hammering. He half-opened his eyes. “I am calm,” he promised, his eyes bright again, untroubled.

Enchanted, Ardena smiled. “Are you?” she asked. Her own feelings of fear and urgency, brought on by his, were fading more slowly. She was glad he wasn’t worried anymore, but envious of how quickly he recovered. Not to mention feeling a bit adrift.

He stretched, lifting his head briefly to rotate his neck and yawn, and then flopped back down, arms wrapped around her. No longer with terrified tightness. “Mm-hmm,” he murmured, and then to all appearances, dropped off to sleep.

Ardena laughed to herself, watching him a little while and shaking her head. Apparently, they would be talking about this later.

_Argh, Cole._ She adored him, she did, but he frustrated her sometimes.

~

Cole was a light sleeper. When she ran her fingers over his scalp, his eyelashes fluttered, eyes darker than usual as they took her in groggily. “Humming,” he murmured, nuzzling her forehead. “Invisible energy, silent song. Both of us, together.” He exhaled, smiled, then added, “Want to do it again.”

Ardena fell asleep, quiet laughter on her lips.


End file.
